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hi cutie

kirbyfucker64:

"how old are you?"

"It’s a secret :3"

"aiight so either 12 or 40 got it"

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?

(Source: penceyprepofficial)

lightning-thighs:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

i don’t think this is a joke he might be serious

lightning-thighs:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

i don’t think this is a joke he might be serious

deathpup:

first rule of fight club

  1. no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa

nice-wig-janis:

asking your hairdresser for a trim and they cut too much:
image

(Source: redwingjohnny)

Tags:
#cute
tastefullyoffensive:

Diagram of a Corgi

tastefullyoffensive:

Diagram of a Corgi

(Source: partthewaters)

despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late ’90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends

(Source: americagiveup)

ajantas:

yes please get that poor girl away from Nash Grier

ajantas:

yes please get that poor girl away from Nash Grier

k3utommy:

*hands you the death note* hi can you sign my yearbook

(Source: cathercha)